Sound the Mule Season Klaxon!
Here are 14 of the best to invest in right now - on a sliding scale from affordable to sole shattering
If you’ve been subscribing to this newsletter for a while you’ll know that I’m a sucker for a slippy, slide-y backless shoe.
The addiction first hit when Alessandro Michele showed his inaugural collection for Gucci in 2014. A celestial haze of pussy bow shirts and astrakhan-trimmed great coats, the collection orbited around a shearling-lined backless take on the Florentine brand’s Jordaan loafer.
I instantly bought a pair and the rest, as they say, is a decline into silly shoe-driven insolvency.
It clearly wasn’t just me that caught the fugly mule bug back in the heady days of Michele’s supremacy. There are currently countless iteration of backless loafers, clogs and babouche slippers slipping around the shoe market, presumably produced to keep up with consumer desire to dress like a Hobbit that’s fallen victim to Lord FASH-UN.
But which mule to pick? Here, for your mid-week listy-newsletter, I’ve selected 14 of the best, presented on a sliding scale of affordability. From doable to DON’T DO IT FRODO!
(Do it).
1 | Definitely do it, don’t even think about it
It’s not the first time I’ve recommended the backless Milano loafers by Birkenstock and it won’t be the last. With their soft suede uppers and characteristic splayed-toe it’s safe to assume that Jonathan Anderson was inspired by the shoes for those in Loewe’s SS’24 collection. The good news is, the originals are at least a sixth of the price of his. So you should buy them. Now.
2 | Do it, without hesitation
Only hesitate if your personal style is less Hobbit hanging around Hobbiton, more Orc grinding at Berghain. Accordingly, these mules from Clark’s will work best if your wardrobe consists primarily of clothes made by Universal works, YMC, and that forever Walthamstow Dad’s favourite, Toast.
3 | You can do it!
They might look a bit chunky and scary (particularly given that the current footwear mores are moving in a sleeker direction) but these serviceable mules by Spanish design house Camper are perfect for stomping around in the UK’s indecisive spring weather. Be sure to team with chunky socks until things improve in around July at this rate.
4 | Do it (but plan your outfit carefully)
These snazzy little mules from G.H. Bass exemplify the new sleek-yet-Brit Pop direction which fashion seems to be swaggering in, but that doesn’t mean they’re easy to wear.
Teaming them with drapey dark tailoring should do the trick - something straight from the pleated halls of Issey Miyake, ideally.
5 | Do it, Darliiinnngggha
I don’t love the colour of the soles on these Sabahs. They would look much more elegant if they were darker. But the uppers are an undeniably thing of chi-chi beauty.
Team with evening looks for a Venetian inspired look, go casual with loose fit denim for a playful take, or team with a kaftan on your hols for a zhuzhed up version of classic Moroccan style.
6 | Do it. They’re an investment
Sure, you could draw the line at an entry level pair of Birkenstock Bostons and be done with it, but this new pair from the brand’s levelled up 1774 range are well worth the extra cash.
Note the Nappa leather-coated cork footbed, the ultra soft full grain suede upper, and. the tonal EVA outsole that provides a more cohesive aesthetic.
7 | Do it, but only if you’ve already got the Birkenstock Bostons
These raffia mules from JW Anderson are undeniably ace, but they’re absolutely inessential. You should probably only buy them, therefore, if you’re already in possession of a simple pair of the aforementioned Birkenstock Bostons which you can swap in when you’re not feeling FABULOUS.
8 | Do it - you only live nine times
These mules from Balenciaga play into a wider trend for shoes which resemble animal feet. Consider Margiela’s viral Tabi slippers and the Paw loafers at JW Anderson.
For my money, these from Birkenstock are the easiest entry point into the trend, the paw-like construction of the upper being more subtle than the aforementioned. Still entirely grrrratuitous, however.
9 | Do it. But don’t wear them outside.
This pair of mule slippers from the recent Louis Vuitton collaborative collection by Pharrell Williams and Tyler the Creator, are as playful as they are totally showy.
They’re finished with a rubber sole, but given the fact that the uppers are made from fabric, they should probably only be worn inside/when the weather is fine.
10 | Only do it if you have a driver
The ultimate stealth wealth slippers, you’ll be able to pad around in these without being detected. Creepy? Yes. Chic? Also yes.
Designed by Loro Piana, natch, these new mules are a more elegant take on the slippers created by LA-based brand Fear of God. They’ll look their best worn with denim - ideally white, cream or pale wash.
11 | Do it (but only if you haven’t already)
These slinky little suckers have been doing the rounds since mule fever first struck in 2014 (if you’re anything like me you’ll probably already own a few pairs) but with nascent creative director Sabato de Sarno’s first collection for Gucci about to drop, there’s every chance that they’ll be going the way of all things before too long. Be sure to stock up now.
12 | Do it but only if you’ve bought every other shoe in existence
I own these mules in lime green and they are among my favourite things in the entire world. That doesn’t make them any less ridiculous than they undoubtedly are, but somehow they’re essential.
Buy only when you’ve exhausted your lust for all the other mules on this list or beyond - and wear with confidence befitting the big fashion BEAST that you are!
13 | Maybe Do It
I wanted to include something from Loewe on the list, but despite the fact that the brand has countless sandals and ballet flats available to purchase this season there were notably few mules.
These ones are a classic take on a clog shape and feature some pretty conspicuous branding. They’ll look chic worn with roomy summery tailoring (from SMR Days or the like), but you could just as easily go with the Birkenstock 1774s and save yourself a few hundred quid. Your call, Frodo.
14 | Think hard before doing it
Naturally, being the giant consumer baby that I am, these have been burning a hole in my shopping basket for weeks.
It doesn’t matter that they look like a pair of coconuts that have copped off with a chess board - nor does it matter that they cost the same as 300 cartons of coconut water (it does really) - they’re things of Bottega beauty and I’ll fight you for them.
Oh, and one more thing…
The new collaborative collection from Bode and Nike is going to be available from the 18th April.
I'm completely preoccupied with these woven cream ones. Just look at the folksy little cross-stitch detailing on the tongue! You’ll need to be eagle eyed and weasel fingered to get hold of a pair, sign up for more info at bode.com.
Again, fight you for ‘em.