All The Silly Shoes on My Shopping List
Spring is (almost) in the air, and I've caught the scent for stupid footwear
Lately, I’ve been thinking about shoes. A lot. More than usual, in fact. Partly because I’m writing about the return of proper footwear (apron-toe derbies, classic loafers, and brogues) for The Telegraph, but also because I’ve recently been offloading much of my sillier footwear, because I never wear it.
As I’ve been clearing out my collection, a pattern has emerged: the shoes I’m selling tend to be brightly coloured, while the ones I actually wear on a regular basis are almost exclusively brown, with the occasional black or midnight blue pair thrown in.
It’s been a period of self realisation that will likely save me from future impulse purchases - but, naturally, it’s also inspired a new shopping list of all the ridiculous brown and black shoes I now must buy to fill the void left by those I’ve sold.
Obviously.
1 | The Actually Not-So-Stupid Ones
I spotted these at Milan airport yesterday, and after factoring in the exchange rate and tax refund, they were almost criminally affordable. But I resisted - mostly because I already own the exact same pair in blue velvet and love them too much to betray them with a more practical version. (My actual train of thought.)
2 | The Ones For Holidays
These babouche style slippers from Dries Van Noten will almost certainly pinch the ankles like a pair of scorpions on hot sand, but they’re worth it for that slippery over-sunned aesthetic. Wear with a midnight blue kaftan and factor 50.
3 | The Mock-Croc Ones
I own the non-penny version of these loafers already - and I wear them all the time. There’s something a little more quotidian about these, meaning they can be worn easily with jeans and white socks, and I can save my other pair to wear with tailoring. IN.
4 | The Bananas Ones
They’re completely unhinged, yet I can’t stop staring at them. That’s the magic of Prada’s runway shoes - they’re less footwear, more sculptural pieces, equally at home on a plinth in some strange Mitteleuropean museum as they are on your feet. They remind me of Fagin, and schnauzers, and I just can’t look away.
Luckily for my bank balance, they’re completely out in my size.
5 | The Flintstones Sneakers
They’d look comically oversized on me - what Manolo Blahnik would call “foot furniture” - and, like every other furry shoe I’ve acquired, they’d inevitably gather dust. But there’s something so outré about them that I can’t help but sit here and write about them anyway.
6 | The Perfect Ones
I wore my grey suede pair of Saman Amel deck shoes to death last summer, and I’m now coveting these brown deerskin versions - not least because these will be wearable whilst the weather’s still rubbish.
7 | The Ones for My Second Holiday
Marni’s take on Sabah’s babouche slippers have that touch of extra polish, but if you wanted to spend a little extra cash you could just as easily purchase a pair from the latter brand. (There’s also a lady in Brixton market who sells brightly coloured pairs for £20 a pop, who’s well worth a visit.)
8 | The Ones to Wear With Denim
I’m not usually into a pale tan shoe, but these Saint Laurent loafers are so agro ‘90s that somehow they work. I’ll be wearing mine with a pair of cut-off blue jeans, a white tee and an oversized brown leather bomber jacket, c/o Auralee.
9 | The Ones I’m Obsessing Over
I know, I’ve written about these already, but they’re just. So. Great.
10 | The Doable Ones
I popped into Zara in Milan as it was next door to my hotel, and I found these surprisingly serviceable black leather slippers in my size. Which was a surprise. They’re pretty simple and uninspiring, but they do that The Row Canal slip-on thing, peeping-out-from-beneath-your-baggy-white-jeans, for about a 20th of the price.
11 | The Ones You Could Wear Now
I’m completely entranced by these pony skin desert boots by Wales Bonner. There’s literally nothing that’s not perfect about them, though the base layer could be a touch less orange.
12 | The All Rounders
I love the last on these Loewe Campo loafers. So much so that I already own a pair. But this burgundy deerskin version will prove more durable than suede, so…
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Those Zara loafers are *chef’s kiss*
Those Zara loafers are *chef’s kiss*